![]() One day you’re connected to yourself, and therefore your partner too, and the next day you don’t feel connected to anything. Just in case you’re tempted to worry about not having feelings.Īnd this can be a problem in a relationship. It’s not like you don’t have all the feelings in you you just can’t feel them right now. The more depressed you are, the quieter your heart is. Years ago, during a time when I was depressed, crying, and unhappy, a friend told me, “I can see you’re still feeling something, so you can’t be too depressed.”Īnd it’s true. You have an intellectual understanding of the love you have for your girlfriend/mother/sister/boyfriend, but you can’t feel it as much as you normally do. And since the love you feel for others is a reflection of the love you feel for yourself, this is why you feel disconnected. When you’re depressed, you can’t access feelings of self-love. Now, I’m not depressed in the suicidal “I want to drive off the road” kind of way, but in the far less dramatic but still deeply unpleasant “mild to moderate” kind of way.įor me, one of the most challenging aspects to feeling like this is that I don’t feel as connected as I normally do-with my friends, the world in general, and with my beautiful, kind, sweet, smart, sexy husband.Īnd this isn’t specific to me this is what depression is, a lack of feeling. I’m thinking about this today, because-drum roll, please-I’m a little depressed. When you’re depressed, your perception about many things changes-so how does this affect your relationships? To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” ~Fred Rogers
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